This started as a twitter thread, and I felt it might be beneficial sharing it in essay format on Medium as well. Through my Instagram and Facebook posts, connecting a fundraiser for the AAJC (Asian Americans Advancing Justice), I have managed to raise $815 so far (as of 3/21/2021) between the two. For whatever reason, my tweets on social justice and representation occasionally go viral and while it pains me to recount and relive past traumatic events, if it can help others feel less alone, or help open more minds, I’ll be glad I helped shift the conversation and society forward in even these small ways. We all create ripple effects on this world, and it is up to you whether you want to create more good or more evil.
I’m so tired. I can barely sleep. I’ve been experiencing this hatred & sexual fetishizing attention from when I first became aware of it at the age of 3. Yet I hoped as I got older it would lessen. How naive of me.
When I was maybe 4, in our Detroit house, I would go in the bathroom & try to “fix” my eyes. I’d push my stubby little kid fingertips in between my brow bone and eyes hoping I would then have the good eyelids, the ones other kids wouldn’t point out as being wrong.